Back after a long hiatus

Time really flies. On mc today, bout of stomach flu again...so I finally had time to come to this forgotten page. It's been 1 MONTH and A HALF since I've blogged, and almost as long since I went to Facebook to do anything other than adding new friends.

Many many things have happened in the past month and a half, internship has been challenging and I've learnt some valuable lessons. The basic work will always be the same- the media monitoring, the monthly reports etc, but other than that I've learnt, amongst other things, to be more careful and meticulous in the things I do, about the direction the industry is moving in this era of new media, about the similarities and differences in how different agencies work, and witnessed how global agencies are managed. Many things are learnt via quiet observation and others by my helpful colleagues pointing out learning points to me. I've had a refresher on how strategic communication- even normal communication, can be - every word you say to everyone, every client holds weight.

I am at a much happier place in my private life, I've come to accept that many things are just part and parcel of life, of learning about the world, about people, about who I am and what I want. Been having quite a fair bit of fun on weekends, work and play are balancing out really well - in short, I'm really happy and it's been a long time.

Wifey's just done her convocation - I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE! Congratulations, you really deserve this moment of celebration. Looking forward to my own this time next year, last charge ahead and I can't wait. Francis has just come back from Viet, we've got so much to catch up on - you and princess. Can't wait for saturday to roll along ;P

Am planning a short trip somewhere just for a breather, non work related. So many things upcoming, how can I not be psyched!!

Lots of love people! TK girls: meeting is SOON i am so looking forward! Harlie barlie and co...dinner at Kampong Glam SOON. Watch facebook!

Quickies

Been a long time since I've been here but that's because life's getting back on track - good I guess. I am a lot happier now. Lots have happened, the NUMERO UNO being....

EXAMS HAVE ENDED!!!

Shortly after exams ended on a Wednesday, my internship at a PR agency began - they have pretty cool accounts. It's a different experience in a lot of ways - learning in a different agency but it's all good. I am always glad for a chance to learn.

In between the time exams ended, and the commencement of my internship on Monday (yes!! It was a short 4 days!) I worked through the weekend with Iko and got to know her better. I also managed to spend a lot of quality time with mom and bro, I am happy because we had a lot of fun as a family, mom and I did MAD amounts of (window) shopping. Played catch-up with my friends although I've not met all yet. Met PL, Wifey, BF, Bestie, Ivey, Shn, Feng and Jin so far. Looking forward to more!!!

Re the internship, I think I settled in relatively fast and before I knew it, half a month had passed. Before I know it, 3 months would have passed!!! Kind of dread going back to school but everyone tells me to treasure those school years...and so I will :):):)

Now, for other news: Dyed my hair too, as some kind of symbolism, some kind of break from the past. I like it! Wifey liked it too :):):)




With Bestie pre-hair dye. HAPPY IS ME!!!

With dear Iko who stuck with me for two entire weekends working for Nissan. We had the most enjoyable time ever.

Lately, most weekend nights have been spent working, and weekday nights have been reserved for sleep. Been (surprisingly) waking early enough to run at 5.30a.m. I am amazed by this newfound discipline.

Lots lots lots to update about running - an interesting article in Wall Street Journal, an amazing documentary by PBS about marathons that is a must-watch for all people who feel unmotivated to exercise, and lastly, I'm finally going to train for the army half marathon. It is a commitment I think. Just praying that I will be unscathed, I will be careful to not over-run so not to worry mates!

Keep your eyes peeled :)

A fresh new chapter perhaps.

I really need this one, this change, this different vantage point.
I need to be happy again, truly so, and happy by my own merit and no one else's effort. I hope I have strength to turn into the person I need to be at the end of this.

Kanye West sang it best

I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to
I can't keep my cool, so I keep it true
I got somethin' to lose, so I gotta move
I can't keep myself and still keep you too

I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to
See I had to go, see I had to move
No more wastin' time, you can't wait for life
We're just racin time, where's the finish line?

I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to
Where I wanna go, I don't need you
I've been down this road, too many times before
I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to

Running Away

A friend jokingly recommended that 'Running Away' would be an apt song to listen to, in response to my Facebook status. Little did he know it did reflect what I felt.

I really just want to drop everything, and run away to the furthest reaches of the earth, at the final frontier where the cliffs drop sharply into angry crashing waves.

I want to be alone in the midst of the turmoil. To feel the wind lashing upon me, to be shoved around precariously. Maybe, just maybe being one-on-one with a disturbance like that would make the one within me dwarf in comparison. Maybe I could then summon up all my angst and scream endlessly into the ends of earth, match rage for rage, lash for lash, disappointment for disappointment, drop for drop. And then collapse in exhaustion and head home a new person again, so I can restart and remap my life anew.

Don't lie and say that it's OK.
It's alright if there's nothing more to say.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Don't tell me I'm the one to blame.
It's too late for you to make me stay.
No, I won't stay.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place.
And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving
Yeah I'm leaving today.
And I, I'll never let you find me.
I'm leaving you behind with the past
No, I won't look back.
And I don't want to hear your reasons.
Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay.

And try, and try to understand me
And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay
I, I'm moving on from this place
I'm leaving and I won't quit running away.

I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

For Him, for myself, for you, you, you AND you.

Thanks bestie, for coming by in one of my lowest moments. And thanks Kath you were present in every moment as well - Francis shared with me what you shared with him... I will love myself because I love God, pick myself up from here.

I will keep my eyes on the goal and not be distracted because these goals were what mattered to me from the beginning and they will be what matters to me at the end. No one will take that away from me.

Thanks wifey and bf I know my journey will never be lonely. It never has been and it never will be. I know I can be that smiling, happy, radiant girl again. Watch this space!

Thank you to all (Mian too!) for sticking with me through all the decisions I make, for the tireless listening, for trusting me to make the right judgments - giving me courage to do the right things when I falter. For believing in me, for setting me free to love and then picking up the pieces with me when those dreams shatter. For reminding me time and again, of my worth, of my place in your hearts. It matters so much, so much to me.

The boys come and go and you, my friends - you fantastic, sturdy, wonderful people are the only constants through the years.

I still believe that someday, somehow happiness will be there for me, in the exact shape and manner I've always dreamed it to be. I just have to go on with life as per normal and not grow hard and cynical. That - is the last thing I want to be because that was the exact thing that marked the closure of this chapter. Cynicism.

I cannot fight this monster looming before us and I realised, that there can be no love, no future where there is cynicism and absence of hope. Where there is no future to look forward to, no common goals to work towards, there is no point in continuing no matter how difficult it is to make that call, no matter how painful. There is no point in doing anything at all. It was ironic how cynicism had the power to destroy us before any of the things he'd been cynical about even had the chance to reach us.

I don't want to settle for a meaningless existence full of everything that do not matter. The only things that matter are the intangibles - not the properties, supercars, whole wardrobe of branded stuff you never get to wear, but nevertheless own. They're worthless except by monetary value and societal tags of envy. So what if you had all these stuff? Does it make you happy? I've been happier on less than 5 bucks in entire family net worth.

C'est la vie! There is much more to life than this and I will strive to move from strength to strength!

Hello exciting life post 7 May!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

-Philippians 4:8-9

No more will to try

There's nothing, and I repeat, there is nothing else better than sneaking off to have a haircut after 6889384 hours of studying. Goodbye Tarzan, hello Jamie and hello Jamie's old fringe! Told the woman to cut however much she wanted as long as I still was a long-haired girl afters. This had better not be my solution to problems. At this rate, I will have no hair left to cut.